Tuesday, December 19, 2017

I remember // Christmas memories // a poem from my heart

I remember Christmas candy
In bowls of red and green
I remember "the Christmas penny"
Hidden to be unseen

I remember Grandma's Christmas globe
On the table she stood
Painted lambs and pretty trees
Made to look of wood

She sang a Christmas carol
When twined to be just right
Shepherds gathered round her feet
To behold the wondrous sight

I remember Christmas music
On the big old stereo
Loretta Lynn and Kitty Wells
Sang of days long ago

I remember Christmas cookies
All laid out so neat
Bowls of colored frosting set about
A gooey mixture too sweet

I remember the Christmas Story
The one that should always be told
Grandpa's voice softly whispered
"Fear not, for behold"

"Unto you a son is given"
A line I shall always remember
Grandpa's voice etched in my mind
One I shall recall each and every December

I remember family gathered all about
Playmates of yester-years
We'd play games like "big and little"
And go against our fears

I remember Christmas dinner
Potatoes, gravy, and ham
Olives placed on each finger
Rolls and squishy candied yam

Pickles placed upon the platter
We'd wait and watch and see
Who would mistake the sweet for sour
Tossing it back to flee

I remember laughter
Love and Joy and Peace
Warmth of family filled the home
Aunt and Uncle and Niece

I remember Christmas of my childhood
Days that are forever gone
But ones I will always remember
Until the victory is won 
- Felicity Stenersen

Monday, December 11, 2017

Christmas Time's A Comin' // thoughts and planning // photo dump

Snow flake's a-fallin'
My old heart's a-callin'
Tall pine's a-hummin'
Christmas Time's A-Comin'.
Can't you hear them bells ringin', ringin'
Joy, to all hear them singin'
When it's snowin', I'll be goin'
Back to my country home.

// Patty Loveless

Hello there sweet friends!
I have been quite absent on here, haven't I? My deepest apologizes. I can't even express in words how crazy and busy my life has been feeling as of late. Still, I shall try to.

Josiah's trip here (Nov. 18 - Nov. 28) was filled with many life changing decisions and a lot of figuring out, as well as some sweet time just enjoying each others company. We spent Thanksgiving with my Mom's family, reserved our honeymoon, bought plane tickets, picked up our marriage license, figured out the groom/groomsmen clothing, and had my bridal shower.
It was absolutely lovely having him with me again, and so hard to see him leave. This time, for the last time. The next time he flies back to New Hampshire, I will be traveling with him! A lot of mixed emotions happening with that.

That guy has my heart, but so does my family. It has been such a battle in side me, trying to accept the fact that I am leaving them behind. I feel like the cartoon characters that have a little inside voice on each shoulder whispering different things. You look back and forth until you feel as though you are going to lose your head! So many thoughts, fears, joys, tears, excitement. Phew! Its exhausting. *winks*

I am so excited to finally be with Josiah. No more goodbyes. We have found an apartment and have begun brainstorming and planning. Slowly things are unfolding and falling in to place. One moment I can't wait to get there and finally be able to help out, and the next moment I am bawling my eyes out to Josiah, keeping him up until wee hours of the morning, at the thought of leaving home. Feeling guilty for leaving my family. I have never felt so torn in my life.
One thought is replaced with a "but" before I can blink.

I finally will be with Josiah! Forever!

But you won't be with all those you hold so dear. Mother. Father. Sisters. Brother. Cousins. Aunts. Grandparents.

A place of my own. A place for me and Josiah to share and grow and make in to a home!

But your family won't be there to see it.

Coffee dates and grocery shopping trips with my best friend!

But no weekend visiting with my people.

Starting the life I have longed for! Waited for!

But your Mom won't be nearby to share it with you.

My dreams are finally coming true!

But you are crushing your Mom's dreams of grandbabies down the road.

So many thoughts. So many fears and worries and anxieties. So much excitement and anticipation. Like I said above, its exhausting.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or,
Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly
Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow
shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6: 31-34

Your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
God knows what I need. He knows what my Mom needs. He knows what Josiah needs.
Take therefor no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
One of my biggest shortcomings is I try to carry all my own burdens. I am suppose to fix the problem, not cause it. Now that things are happening out of my control, God is opening my eyes and showing me He is in control. Not me. He knows what He is doing. He doesn't make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. And if we simply trust in Him, all will be well.

How easy it is to say those words. Trust God. How hard it is as human to practice those words.

I pray that with each day I can get up and lean on my Jesus. Trust in Him. Allow Him to carry my burdens and hold my hand.

I'm only human, I'm just a woman
Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am
Show me the stairway
I have to climb
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time
One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.
- Christy Lane

Josiah has been so patient with me during all this time. I don't know anyone else who would sit up until after 2:00 A.M. and let me just cry my heart out. Not letting me go to bed until I was okay. Praying for me. Reassuring and encouraging me. Maybe I am prejudice *wink* but I have never met someone so understanding. *yes. I know. Brag moment. I can't help it!*

I love you, babe.

*Straightens shoulders*
Well, enough of the mushy deep stuff. Ready for a HUGE photo dump of my crazy life in November?

I think this is actually October but, I just love it! Myself with two of my three flower girls after church one Sunday.
I babysat 10 kiddos for two nights at my aunts and uncles! It actually went a lot better than I had been afraid!

JulieAnn and Hannah were my little sidekicks. They are so sweet <3

I did some more cleaning. Shocked?

The sister helped! *fist bump*

Because Noelle is cute.

Lots of wedding planning. My Mom and sisters are da bomb.

Noelle came wedding shopping with us one day! It was so much fun!

Chancy got his first buck. I was so excited!! We all were! *grins*

Annnnddddd..... my baby came back to town!

Now that we can be called "adults" we were invited to join my grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles for supper one night. It was a lot of fun! Had some crazy giggles.

I made chicken pot pie for supper one night.

Josiah and Liberty making pretzels.

Josiah and I went down town and got our marriage license!

Then we celebrated with a lunch date. Sigh. I miss this.

My family.

My babe.

Lunch date at Mod Pizza!

Town strolling hand in hand.

With coffee.

My bridal shower!

The girls did awesome! *smiles* I am spoiled.

Marissa - aunt - bridesmaid

Kaysha - cousin - matron of honor

Marita - aunt - bridesmaid

Daminika - sister - bridesmaid

Liberty - sister - junior bridesmaid

LaKaysha - sister - bridesmaid

Kirsten Jean - 1-2-3-cousin - personal attendant
(fun fact. Her first name is Kirsten, her middle is Jean. But somehow she has become simply "Kirsten Jean" to me)

My Mother Dear

My people <3

Kaaren Sue!

Kaaren - 1-2-3 cousin
Noelle - cousin
Evelyn - cousin
All three of my flower girls made it! Yay!

I love when the family takes of Bugerville

Seasonal Chocolate Peppermint Milkshake

My other half.

Last date before he flew home.

My boss gave me a gift card so we got coffees and our favorite snack. Salt and Vinegar chips.

Supper with the family!

Final morning

Headed to the airport. Please excuse my face. I was extremely sick, tired, and sad.

And then the world stopped turning.
Ok. Perhaps not exactly, but it felt like it!
Phew! That was a lot of photos! Did you make it to the bottom?

Guys, Christmas is almost here and I am not done shopping! Help!

Have a blessed Christmas season.