Recently I have been experiencing what its like to "take your burdens to the Lord, leave them there" as the song goes. It isn't the easiest thing! I can take them there but I usually try to pick them back up.
A friend has been going through struggles and it has burdened me quite a bit. They have shut me off from their life almost completely and that also has been hard. I try to stay in contact but they've lost interest in anything I have to say.
Through another friend I am learning about the choices they are making and the life they are choosing to live. It has us both worried.
I am beginning to see that I can't do anything for them. I can talk until I'm blue in the face but if the Lord doesn't reveal it to them, they won't change. I must leave their life and soul in the hands of Jesus. All I can do is pray. I can't fix them. I can't change them. But I can love them.
Once again, another friend of mine is going to become a bride! I am so happy for her.
We had attended the same church our entire life but not until school did we ever talk.
I met many girls during 4th-6th grade at school, but none did I keep. Except Nissa.
Nissa became one of my closet friends during my school years and I spent many days at her house.
We climbed trees, played in the old barn, and trucked through the wet woods in her brothers borrowed rubber boots. We baked cinnamon rolls. We played games. We laughed.
As the years went by we slowly went our separate ways. I spent my high-school years being homeschooled while Nissa attended a public school.
Sometimes we will go months without being in contact.
But as Nissa said once,
"It's awesome that no matter how long its been since we've seen each other, we can still talk."
Occasionally we will get together and go out to supper or coffee. At first I am nervous but Nissa is still Nissa. We still can talk no matter the distance between our lives! I love that.
Although we don't spend every weekend together, she will always be someone special in my heart.
Congratulations to her and her fiancé Ethan!
Just a few years ago, if you had told me two friends would be married while I still worked and cleaned, I probably would have been rather upset. But not today.
I don't know when it happened. It wasn't a moment of lightening, it just slowly came to be.
I don't worry anymore about getting married. I mean I still have my bad days but it doesn't control my life.
I still want to get married, more than anything! I still dream about it, but I don't ache for it.
God revealed to me I must live in today. Bloom where He has planted me. He'll move me when its time. And I believe that with all my heart. I know He has bigger plans than I can see, and they're much more beautiful than any dream I could ever create myself.
If I marry, that's Gods will.
If I don't, that is also God's will.
It was wrong of me to focus so much on the idea of getting married. I was putting it above God.
Today I pray that the Lord will guide me, keep me always under His wings, and give me the wisdom and strength to walk through life in His will. Not mine.
Each day I am learning to leave everything at the feet of Jesus. My friends lives, and mine.
"I will bury your burdens; I will carry every trial
I will be by your side every step of every mile"